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Do you want to be a happier mom? Yes, I know you are happy already. You have a beautiful baby that loves and adores you. They are delicious and precious and smell so dang good!
But I also know that your life does not look anything like it used to.
Like not at all.
And the people, places, and things you used to look to for happiness just aren’t as readily available to you anymore. Am I right?
I am not saying moms are not happy. Far from it.
But I am saying that there are adjustments we can make in our mom lives to ensure that our happiness doesn’t fall by the wayside.
Gaining perspective, intentionally focusing your mindset, and creating new habits are the key aspects to ensuring lifelong joy, no matter what comes your way.
I’ll show you how.
These 11 happy hacks will work wonders on your outlook, just like they did for me.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor nor am I your nurse. I cannot assess your situation enough to offer medical advice. If you have any concerns about your health or your baby’s health, you should consult your physician. I am not liable for information included on this blog and cannot guarantee results. This post is for informational purposes only.
Just think about it for a second. . .
Is anyone who does not accept their situation happy?
I would venture to say HECK NO.
It’s an oxymoron. You cannot be happy and resisting your life at the same time. These two things are in opposition.
But when you let go of the resistance, and start to accept your situation for what it is, it’s the first step, that gateway drug, that gets you to your happy place.
If you are having a hard time with acceptance, do what I do:
I describe my situation out loud.
Literally. “Yup. Looks like there is a huge, seemingly insurmountable mess in the living room that still needs to be cleaned up.” or “Apparently, both my children are having a hard time today and need extra, super clingy attention.”
Be sure to add all the details. Like how there are 3 piles of laundry, straws all over the floor, stuffed animals galore, half played with toys that never got put back, and crumbs from breakfast, even though it’s almost dinner (the next day).
This helps your brain process the situation, so you can start accepting it for what it is. It is from this point of acceptance so you can have a better chance of being happy.
It gives your mind some space to process, it keeps you neutral, rather than immediately going into a negative reaction.
If you’re not much of a speaker, you can go ahead and jot it down somewhere instead.
2. Convince Your Brain You Like It
Next step: Say the opposite of what your brain would say in a difficult situation.
Now say it again and again until you feel a release in your energy.
You’d be surprised how well this works. At first you feel ridiculous and sarcastic. But then, your brain starts listening to you and it starts to believe you.
Give it a try. It works to keep you from reacting badly!
When you find yourself complaining, either in your head or out loud about something that you don’t like doing, this is folding laundry for me every time, tell yourself you like it.
Seriously. And say it out loud.
Words are SUPER powerful! I’m not kidding. Everyone knows they can tear down, or build up.
If you say something out loud, research shows that it is 10 times more powerful than if you were to just think it.
Why not use them to our benefit?
3. Stop consuming negativity
Our lives are FILLED with things trying to grab our attention.
Most of these things are, unfortunately, not uplifting. They do not benefit us positively.
Scrolling AIMLESSLY through social media is not healthy.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am a BIG fan of social media, especially TikTok. You can learn SO much from social media p;atforms.
But you have to be so careful what you engage with.
AIMLESSLY is the key word here. You want to be intentional with what you see and for how long.
There is that one quote:
Well this is not only just about people friends, it also has to do with other forms of influence.
Instead of consuming negativity, saturate yourself with positive things:
Audible, podcasts, TikTok, YouTube, Kindle, books, Netflix, etc. I am constantly feeding my mind what it needs to hear to stay positive and in the growth mindset.
This has been my key to success lately.
It will change your outlook, you just have to keep feeding your brain the good stuff, not the bad.
4. Recognize your accomplishments
Recognizing and acknowledging your accomplishments builds your self confidence. Confident people are by default happier because they are not constantly affected by others and their opinions.
They worry less. They move on quickly. They are content with themselves.
But how do you build confidence if it’s not naturally gifted to you?
Easy. Fake it till you make it, strategically. You emulate someone who is.
And do you know what naturally confident people do differently than non confident people?
They look at their capabilities and accomplishments.
Learn from confident people’s mindset.
You must focus on what you do well, on your accomplishments no matter how big or how small they are.
Everyone is good at something. Look with an objective eye at yourself and find out what it is. What do people compliment you on often? What comes easier to you than it does to others?
Shine a spotlight on it. nurture it. Build yourself up.
And if you really can’t come up with anything, praise yourself for mundane daily tasks.
Praise yourself for how well you cleaned up, how quickly you loaded the dishwasher, how you can change a diaper with your baby standing up.
Anything and everything. Start doing this, for real! You will feel the energy shift as you really start practicing this.
5. Act as if you already ARE
Act (and think) as if you are happy already. What would a happy person do?
Act as if you are the person you want to be already. How would I act if I were calm, centered, and happy act in this situation?
When you believe you are, everything just starts falling into place.
When you mess up, it’s not because that’s who you are it’s because you just had a bad day. You’ll pick yourself back up and do better next time.
If you say to yourself you are unhappy, you will never be happy.
Because that’s not who you are (it’s not who you identify with anymore), because you ARE (acting as if you are) a happy mom now, your decisions are different.
If you act as if you already are, it’s not “I can never be a happy mom” or “I suck at this” anymore, it’s “Looks like I have to work on this part of myself” or “I just had an off day.”
It’s a cheat/backwards way to keeping your eye on the happy mom prize.
By default, you are thinking with a positive intention, you don’t have to psych yourself out to get there mentally.
6. Saying YES
This means being FULLY in the present moment and saying YES to what opportunities come your way.
When the kids ask you to play hide and seek, when they want some extra cuddle time even though you have somewhere you need to get to, do it.
Like smelling your baby’s sweet sweet baby breath while they sleep rather than doing the dishes or cleaning up.
Looking back, the memories of me saying yes to them, to the things that actually matter, and all the chores that needed to get done, I have no regrets.
The chores all blend together in my memory, but I will cherish the precious moments that I said yes to forever.
You will be happy you took the time to say yes where you normally would have said “I can’t.”
There is less chance for a missed opportunity. The more experiences you experience. the higher your chances of experiencing something you will enjoy.
Saying yes makes you feel alive!
What you experience now by saying no is predictable. But when you say yes, it opens up the chance for an unexpected happy experience.
Try it. . .
Being mindful means keeping your goals in mind. It means living in the present moment (not regretting the past and not worried about the future). It means using your higher thinking brain, not your lower reactionary brain.
Human nature likes to revert back to comfortable patterns (even if they aren’t good for you) it’s the easiest, most paved route.
This is why we have to be mindful as much as possible. So we don’t accidentally fall back on these old habits.
PAVE A NEW, POSITIVE, HAPPIER PATH IN YOUR MIND.
There’s is no magic number to when a new habit will form and when the old will die off.
“Experts” like to say it’s an average of 66 days.
I find this to be unrealistic.
Everyone is different. Every issue is different.
- My road rage: Gone in practically one try.
2. Complaining about the weather: Gone in 2 tries.
3. Reacting negatively towards my kids (i.e. yelling): Getting much better but STILL TRYING.
Some pathways are more just ingrained and triggering. They need more work to clear away the brush. Or the brush keeps growing back quicker and more intensely than expected.
No. Do not let yourself feel like you failed at something just because some rando said that it takes 66 days.
What is that quote about successful people? How the difference between someone who succeeds and someone who doesn’t is that the person who succeeds didn’t give up when it got hard.
Eventually, you will use this new path more often and use the old path less and less. The old path will start to grow shrubs and the be less easy to use, it will feel more uncomfortable using the old path than the new.
But in order to pave this path, we have to be mindful of our reactions.
Here is a free tool that I have for you to help you with exactly that:
Click the “I need this” button to get it. This method has done wonders for taming my reactions.
Keep being mindful. . . Keep your focus on how you are doing right now. . . Keep looking at the here and now. . .
My post: Become Your Best Self as Mom can really help with your mindset.
WHAT?! But you JUST told me to be mindFUL and now you’re telling me to be mindLESS?!
I know, I know. . .
But hear me out. We are at a very high vibrational state when we are lost in “the zone.”
The zone is instinctual, it’s fully in the present moment, it’s being lost in what you love doing. It’s mindLESS.
Unfortunately it’s almost impossible to constantly live there in that state. But we can definitely visit it often and hopefully on a somewhat regular basis.
To get into the zone try listening to some uplifting music check out my post: Grown-up Kid Friendly Songs the Whole Family Will Love!
Turn on some 528 Hz music. I like this one from YouTube: Music to Boost Positivity and Reduce Stress.
Or this one if you just want the tone and not the music: 528 Hz Pure Tone.
Lose yourself in an activity you enjoy, art, writing, hiking, or any other project you have a passion for.
Bonus, bonus points if these activities involves your baby though.
Practice a bit of reckless abandon, like when we were kids and didn’t have a care in the world. Play like a kid with your kids.
You will see what a difference it will make in your psyche. “The zone” can be utter bliss. It will give you energy and raise your spirits high.
Don’t skip out on this one, the residual serotonin boost will last for a good chunk of time.
9. Give Yourself a Break
It’s okay. . . Say it with me: It’s OKAY. . .
If you are too hard on yourself you will never be happy.
One of the biggest reasons why people are so unhappy is because of all the negative self talk.
We can be verbally and emotionally abusive to ourselves.
Would you keep an abusive, negative friend around 24/7? Oh heck to the NO!
So don’t take that from yourself.
When we take things too hard, talk down to ourselves because we didn’t meet our goal, because we ‘messed up’ again, we are putting negative energy into ourselves.
Now, when we give ourselves a break, when we talk kindly and positively to ourselves, we are uplifted with positive energy and we are able to rise up and move forward.
It’s the TREND we are looking at, not each and every situation.
I’ve been a nurse since 2007. And when we are assessing your vital signs, we are not basing everything off of one reading.
We are looking at the TRENDS. As long as most of the readings are within normal range, we don’t freak out about the one or two times they were abnormal.
Same thing with when you mess up. Look at the trend before you are too hard on yourself. Most likely you are doing better than you think you are.
10. Use Affirmations/Meditation
Don’t roll your eyes at me just yet!
Everyone says this is the way, and maybe you’ve tried it already. But it most likely wasn’t the right type for you or you didn’t stick with it long enough.
You have to find what works for YOU. Who you resonate with as a meditation mentor. What affirmations make you FEEL something in your bones.
Try different ones.
There is also the possibility that it might have not been the right time for you yet. Maybe you weren’t completely ready for it yet.
But you know what? The fact that you are reading this right now is a sign that you might be ready now.
So try it again. with an open heart and an open mind.
Don’t have time? Of course you don’t have any time as a mom! I feel you. It does not have to be long.
Some days I can only squeeze in a 5 minute meditation, but that is much better than nothing.
Need help finding some time in your busy momming schedule? Have you tried waking up earlier?
Before you give me all the excuses, read my post Wake Up Early to Transform Your Mom Life and then make your final decision after. I swear to you I am a natural night owl, but I have changed my ways for good.
When you practice meditation and affirmations, you are starting to align with your highest self. You are teaching your mind what you want it to do, how you want it to behave.
It’s not easy, it can be real hard some days. But that’s when it’s important to refer back to #9 and give yourself a break.
11. Aim for peace, not happiness
Okay, this is super important. If you want to be happier as a mom, your intention should not be to “be happy.”
Your intention needs to be focused on finding peace, then happiness will flow your way at the appropriate times.
Peace has longevity. Peace keeps us centered and clear. Peace will bring a steady satisfaction to your life in a way that happiness cannot.
The issue with happiness is that it comes and goes so quickly. It’s not sustainable for every minute of every day.
Release control and let go of the “I want to be happy” mindset. Ask for peace, and happiness will have a safe and neutral place to come rest. . .
Want more? You can head on over to my homepage and check out all the other mom hacks I talk about to grow into the best person you can be through motherhood. You will be able to find my Turning into Mommy Product Recommendation Page there too, where I list ALL the BEST products that will actually be useful as a mom. Be sure to click on any of the categories: Everything Pregnancy, Postpartum Depression, Everything Mommy, and Calm and Centered Momming so you can explore all the things!